Owner of A Lonely Heart
by AvalonAri
Summary: Axel has disappeared and has turned to cutting, trying to ease his pain. Roxas looks for him, finally understanding how he feels for Axel. WARNINGS:ONESHOT YAOI LEMON SWEARING ANGST GRAPHIC


**Owner of A Lonely Heart**

** A/N: One shot between Axel/Roxas, angsty beginning, a bit long i think but worth it.  
**

**Disclaimer: Do not own Kingdom Hearts, merely the twisted idea of these two together in this way. Oh, also don't own the song title. Don't sue, please.  
**

- - - - -

Axel sighed, watching the blood from the cut seep out of the wound. If Roxas did not want him, he was as good as dead. It was no use living if the blond continued to scorn him, to reject him. How many times had Axel been there, to help the boy recover from his own warped ideas of love? How many times had he protected him, took him in and nursed him back to health?

The redhead took the switchblade, cutting another thin line further up on his arm. No, he had no intention of killing himself, merely trying to overcast his emotions by physical means. He was unashamed as the tears rolled from his green eyes, which, at the moment, were as dark as the stem of a rose, crushed underfoot and forgotten.

_'Why Roxas? Why do you not accept me?'_ He thought, another sigh escaping his pale lips. A fist clenched his heart at the mere thought of those baby blue eyes staring at him. Axel knew Roxas had not done anything sexual in nature with another male, though Axel had come close to claiming the boy as his own. Had they not been interrupted...well...the flame of Axel's would be heating up and burning brightly instead of trying to diminish and vanish.

His green eyes looked around the bathroom of the shabby motel room and he stood, dizzy from blood loss as he reached for a towel and pressed it against the thin cuts, tying it to his arm. He bit his tongue to keep from crying out in pain. He had suffered worse than this, is still suffering more than this. His eyes half closed, he opened the door to the bathroom, not bothering to clean the pool of O positive blood from the floor. The maids weren't paid for nothing, after all.

In just a black tank-top and a pair of boxers, he slumped onto the bed, not bothering to pull back the covers. As the grips of sleep washed over him, he thought that maybe, just maybe tomorrow would be the day he would end it all. He cursed himself for his cowardice, he should have done it tonight. Yet, he couldn't. He still had hope. It was slim but it was fighting with his anguish, telling him, "One more day. Give him just one more day."

So it had been for a week. The first day the switchblade took a bath in red, the hope was strong. Only one cut. The same as the next three days. But the pain remained, the hope always staying his hand from cutting vertically. And still Roxas was not here. The fourth, fifth day passed with two cuts each time now and two also for the sixth and the seventh day.

His subconscious was cruel to him, making him relive that night when Roxas was within reach. He stretched out his scarred arm, almost grasping his love, his life, only to have it snatched away as the vision vanished, to be replaced by the empty black void of loneliness. Why did it hurt so? He was Heartless, yet the pain was there, enveloping him like a plague, a sickness to which there was only one cure. To have this cure just out of reach was worse than death, worse than the pain he inflicted, trying to overshadow the emotional agony that would not stop.

- - - - -

How long had Axel lain, passed out from starvation and blood loss in that horrid room, Roxas did not know. He had found his friend after searching for him everywhere. The blond knew something was wrong when Axel's phone kept ringing, ringing, no answer and no cheery voice to reassure Roxas that everything was okay.

He had seen the car in the parking lot of this seldom used motel by chance, passing by the area, thinking of Axel. Roxas had demanded the key from the acne-ridden assistant, lifting him by the throat until he gave him that key. The key to the salvation of the one man Roxas had...dare he say it?...loved. He didn't acknowledge it straight away of course, instead he needed to mull it over a few beers until he realized the obvious. Axel was the life Roxas cared for more than his own.

And so it came to pass that Roxas stood outside the door with its peeling label of the number fifteen barely visible. Ignoring the 'Do Not Disturb' sign, the blue-eyed key weilder placed it into the lock, turning it, the tumblers accepting the key and permitting entrance to the cage within.

"Axel!" He had exclaimed, seeing the red-head passed out on the flea-ridden mattress. Roxas knew something was wrong. He turned the man over so that he lay on his back and put his head to Axel's chest. He was breathing but it was slow and labored. Roxas swallowed past the lump in his throat when he removed the bloody towel from the damaged arm.

"Oh, Axel." He whispered, brushing the red locks out of the pale face frozen in misery. Roxas reached his arms under Axel, picking the man up. Oh, how light he had become! Why hadn't he come sooner, instead of going to the bar? He wasn't going to let Axel go that easily.

Roxas was soon driving off, the once so fiery Axel curled up in the passenger side of the Honda Civic. Every few seconds, Roxas would glance at him, hoping to see some sign of life but no such luck so far.

"Hang on, baby." He said, more to himself than the unconcious hot head.

- - - - -

The green eyes blinked slowly as a light shone on them, a bright light that startled Axel. It was too white in here, too clean. Axel tried to sit up but a pain in his arm stopped him. He blinked again and looked. IV's were there.

_'A hospital?'_ He thought. _'But who--'_

"AXEL!" Yelled an all-too-familiar voice. "DON'T YOU EVER FUCKING DO THAT SHIT AGAIN!" The sapphires stared at the shocked emeralds as the nurses looked at the blond, too dumbfounded to stop his rage.

"DO YOU HAVE ANY FUCKING IDEA HOW WORRIED I WAS? ARE YOU FUCKING INSANE?" Roxas raged, breathing heavily and growing angrier when he saw Axel had a slight smile on his face. Roxas quailed beneath the look, anger finally giving way as tears forced themselves from his eyes and he equally forced himself onto Axel's hospital bed, kissing the older male roughly.

"Roxas," Axel breathed, his cheeks flushed and he winced slightly from the weight of Roxas leaning against the IV's. Roxas leaned his head forward, resting his head on Axel's chest for a moment.

"I thought I was too late..."

- - - - -

That was five days ago. Today, Axel was to be released from the hospital. He strode out of there tall and proud, a different man than the one he was before, mainly because of the cheerful blond at his side. Their hands were connected and they didn't notice the stares they recieved. They only had eyes for each other, as it should be.

Roxas drove the car home, which was a good thing. Had it been Axel they probably would have crashed in his haste to get the other boy home. As it was, Roxas had a hard enough time with Axel reaching over to grab him and touch him. He had to keep yelling at the eager redhead though it was only half-heartedly.

The blue eyed boy tried desperately to get the key needed to unlock the front door. It wasn't easy as he was distracted by the groping of hands on his ass and Axel pushing him against the wooden frame of the door, pressing his need against him. Finally, the door was opened and they toppled inside.

Axel landed on top of Roxas, who let out a small yelp when he hit the floor. Uttering apologies but way too eager to stand up again, he kicked the door shut and worked on the buttons of the blond beneath him. Roxas groaned lightly as Axel pressed their not-so-hidden erections together, gasping as Axel finally got the shirt off and kissed him again.

His tongue roamed every inch of the blond that he could reach. Breaking away from the kiss, Axel unbuttoned Roxas' jeans and tugged them off. Then he stopped and he could only stare.

"No boxers." He said. It wasn't a question but a statement of shock and awe. Axel's jeans and shirt soon joined the pile of forgotten clothes and he wasted no time in pressing their bodies together. Oh, the warmth that enamated from each of them! Axel growled deep in his throat as he rubbed their cocks together, the friction maddening yet so good at the same time.

"Axel." Roxas said, his eyes watching the man above him. "Axel." He repeated, more urgently than before, grabbing the man by his shoulders. The redhead felt his dick give a throb as the boy said his name seductively, passionately, laced with desire.

"Axel."

His green eyes locked onto the sapphires and he couldn't wait. He lifted Roxas' legs and placed them on his shoulders. He spat into his hand and moistened his fingers, inserting one into the boy's ass. Roxas squirmed a little as Axel added another digit, quickly scissoring them and then adding the third one, moving them around until Roxas gasped, one having brushed against his prostrate.

"Ah, there's the spot." Axel smirked. He withdrew his fingers which made an odd sucking sound.

"Axel!" Roxas yelled out as he was penetrated none-too-gently, Axel encased to the hilt with Roxas crying out into his shoulder. Axel kissed his love, pulling back and driving back in, the ecstasy excellent, the tightness wonderful and the feeling of being whole internally satisfying.

Roxas moaned loudly, clutching onto Axel's back as he hit the spot that made the pleasure build. Axel wrapped a hand around the boy's erection, which was already weeping with precum. Roxas tried to buck against his hand while impaling himself further with Axel's swollen cock but the redhead forced him to slow down. Go figure.

"Roxas." He said in a throaty whisper, twisting his hand around his lover's shaft, tugging as he thrust into the blond, both males moaning deeply as their pleasure built. The thrusts became harder, faster, with Roxas begging, begging for Axel to penetrate deeper, to hit that bundle of nerves harder, his fingers scratching small cuts into Axel's broad shoulders and back.

Axel complied as best he could, all the while pumping Roxas' dick, pulling almost all the way only to slam back in with as much force as he could muster. With a shudder and a long, screamed out moan, Roxas came first, his seed nearly exploding onto Axel's chest.

The redhead let himself go and he released just as violently, thrusting a few more times, riding out the orgasm and both men panted heavily, their bodies slick with sweat and semen. Axel collapsed against Roxas and they kissed lazily. Axel pushed his now exhausted body off the blond and pulled out of him with an obscene squelch, only to fall to the blessedly cool tile floor.

Both Axel and Roxas somehow found the strength to stand, mainly leaning against each other as they gathered their clothes and trudged up the stairs to collapse in the bedroom, not even bothering to clean themselves off. They'll do it when they wake up. The last thing that Roxas remembers before he fell asleep that day was one thought.

_'Oh, yeah. Axel got his spark back.'_

- - - - -

**A/N: Yup. That's that. Read and Review, as always. I feel a tad teary eyed.**


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